What a great question, and one I have pondered many times over the last years, especially since becoming a mother myself.
From both my parents I inherited a deep love for learning pretty much everything and anything, and a fascination for travelling and foreign cultures.
From my mother I learnt to love unconditionally, to nurture and support those that I love. She taught me by example to be generous, honest and kind with everyone, to love foreign languages, to cook, to style. She taught me resilience and that it’s never too late to start over.
From my father I learnt to work hard and not whine, to strive for excellence in everything I do (Whenever I would come from school with a grade 9, he would ask “why not 10?” and whenever I would bring a 10, he would ask “did the teacher congratulate you?”). He taught me to question everything, to read with a critical eye, to detect patterns (especially historical patterns in world history, and how to foresee what was to come based on what had already happened), the true meaning of solidarity and to fight against injustice. From him I also learnt how NOT to manage money lol.
I am who I am because of them.
Roopa, there are two issues here.
1. Your commitment and its challenges: The concern your parents have is not baseless. Financial issues are the biggest marriage killer all over the world. I’m by no means saying people can’t marry at a high income difference. But ask yourself – are you sure you’d never have any regrets for not marrying someone more “appropriate” for you by society’s standards? I don’t know how long you’ve known him, but I would recommend spending at least 2-3 years together before you start planning for marriage.
2. Overcoming resistance from your parents: First off, starting the discussion with your parents with the proposal for this marriage was not a good idea. In situations where you expect resistance from your parents, you should ideally introduce your boyfriend as a friend to your parents, at least a year before your probable marriage date. If you have some time on hand (a few years before your marriage), try to get your boyfriend to impress your parents the right way so that there resistance goes down, at least to some extent: How to Impress your Girlfriend’s Parents
Also try this for some general ideas on negotiating with parents: How to Convince your Parents for a Love Marriage . And if that doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to take the more direct approach outlined in this article. ;)
Let me know how things go.
All the best! :)